Monday, January 28, 2008

Please stop seeing bad movies

Dear General Public,
Please stop seeing bad movies.
This week's number one film was "Meet the Spartans", stealing 18.725 MILLION dollars from the pockets of retarded children. Meet The Spartans looks like a bunch of rejected SNL sketches haphazardly thrown together. And we all know how good SNL is lately...
A good comedy stands the test of time. Throw on "Airplane" or "Blazing Saddles" on whatever video format we are downloading, or beaming directly into our retinas 30 years from now, and the jokes will still be funny. Any movie which requires knowledge of pop culture of the exact month the movie was made is not funny. It's not funny or fun. "Look Cletus! A Donald Trump look-alike just said "You're fired" and then got his wig ripped off! Ha. I think I just pissed my Sean John's!".
Instead of wasting 9 bucks on a movie ticket, and 6 bucks on a bucket of popcorn which costs three and half cents to manufacture, and is then coated in fake butter which came from a factory where the workers got lung cancer, save your money, and wait for a good movie to come out. Or rent one of the thousands of good movies already out.
Stop seeing bad movies.
You are just encouraging them.
You are encouraging them to make "Scary Movie 12", "Little Man 2" and numerous other films starring washed up "urban" actors dressed in drag as overweight grandmothers. And you will show up at the theater, check in your brain, hand over your wallet, and continue to be raped by the Hollywood stupidity machine. Break the cycle.

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